Skip to main content

Been there, done that!

Mike Carlton, in his weekly op-ed piece in the SMH, writes about an all too familiar [frustrating] scenario:

"In a moment of what I look back on now as wanton stupidity, I tried to ring the local branch of my bank the other day. A new PIN for a credit card was being sent there for me to collect.

To save an unnecessary trip, I wanted to make sure it had arrived.

No big deal, you would think. Look up number in phone book, call manager, ask question, get answer. Simple as that.

But not any more. Not in this brave new world of the information technology revolution it isn't. It would have been easier trying to get through to the Pope.

For starters, they don't list the local branch numbers nowadays. Either that or the branches have abandoned telephones. You have to ring a main switchboard number and submit to being bossed around, interminably, by a tinny digital recording which assumes that you have an IQ struggling for double figures.

It would be unfair to name the bank here. So let's just call it the National Australia Bank. The tinny digital recording welcomed me with tinny digital insincerity, ordered me to press buttons for this "service" or that and then, after a disapproving silence, demanded to know my NAB identification number.

I was in the car, on the hands-free. Off the top of my head, I haven't a clue what my NAB identification number might be. I didn't even know I had one. Nor, for that matter, can I remember my Medicare number, driver's licence number, passport number, Qantas Frequent Flyer number, SCG membership number, Tax File Number, Australian Business Number, credit card numbers or any of the rest of the knee-deep litter of collected numerals that blight the lives of all of us in this day and age. Who on earth does?

It would require a morbid degree of anal retention.

When it discovered I was stuck for an answer, the tinny digital recording lost interest. So I hung up - and now here comes the act of true idiocy - I actually dialled again in the hope of a better result.

To cut a long story short, after a great deal more button punching I eventually got through to a humanoid, who, by the sound of it, was a 14-year-old work experience kid in Mumbai simultaneously engaged in eating a lamb rogan josh and giving his Sony PlayStation a workout.

Loftily informing me that he was from "Security," this personage demanded my name and date of birth and then, presumably disbelieving the answer, wanted to know the outstanding balance on my credit card.

" I don't carry my entire banking history around with me," I retorted with what I hoped was withering sarcasm. "Do you ?"

"Yes," replied the dwarf, unwithered.

At that point I lost it. This madness had taken half an hour of my life. At the age of 62, every 20 minutes is precious.

Goaded beyond rage, I fired off a salvo of four-letter profanity and gave up. But I do hope they recorded the call "for training purposes," as they threatened. Stuff 'em."

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Reading the Chilcot Inquiry Report more closely

Most commentary on the Chilcot Inquiry Report of and associated with the Iraq War, has been "lifted" from the Executive Summary.   The Intercept has actually gone and dug into the Report, with these revelations : "THE CHILCOT REPORT, the U.K.’s official inquiry into its participation in the Iraq War, has finally been released after seven years of investigation. Its executive summary certainly makes former Prime Minister Tony Blair, who led the British push for war, look terrible. According to the report, Blair made statements about Iraq’s nonexistent chemical, biological, and nuclear programs based on “what Mr. Blair believed” rather than the intelligence he had been given. The U.K. went to war despite the fact that “diplomatic options had not been exhausted.” Blair was warned by British intelligence that terrorism would “increase in the event of war, reflecting intensified anti-US/anti-Western sentiment in the Muslim world, including among Muslim communities in the

An unpalatable truth!

Quinoa has for the last years been the "new" food on the block for foodies. Known for its health properties, foodies the world over have taken to it. Many restaurants have added it to their menu. But, as this piece " Can vegans stomach the unpalatable truth about quinoa? " from The Guardian so clearly details, the cost to Bolivians and Peruvians - from where quinoa hails - has been substantial. "Not long ago, quinoa was just an obscure Peruvian grain you could only buy in wholefood shops. We struggled to pronounce it (it's keen-wa, not qui-no-a), yet it was feted by food lovers as a novel addition to the familiar ranks of couscous and rice. Dieticians clucked over quinoa approvingly because it ticked the low-fat box and fitted in with government healthy eating advice to "base your meals on starchy foods". Adventurous eaters liked its slightly bitter taste and the little white curls that formed around the grains. Vegans embraced quinoa as

Climate change: Well-organised hoax?

There are still some - all too sadly people with a voice who are listened to - who assert that climate change is a hoax. Try telling that to the people of Colorado who recently experienced horrendous bushfires, or the people of Croatia suffering with endless days of temps of 40 degrees (and not much less than 30 at night time) some 8-10 degrees above the norm. Bill McKibben, take up the issue of whether climate change is a hoax, on The Daily Beast : Please don’t sweat the 2,132 new high temperature marks in June—remember, climate change is a hoax. The first to figure this out was Oklahoma Senator James Inhofe, who in fact called it “the greatest hoax ever perpetrated on the American people,” apparently topping even the staged moon landing. But others have been catching on. Speaker of the House John Boehner pointed out that the idea that carbon dioxide is “harmful to the environment is almost comical.” The always cautious Mitt Romney scoffed at any damage too: “Scientists will fig